May 9, 2009

Well, maybe not that boldly

Dear Internet,

I'm a 24 year old kid, caffeinated past his bedtime and hopped up on Hollywood spectacle. Take everything I tell you with a big grain of salt, and forgive me my occasional over-enthusiasm.

There's probably a subtler truth to what I'm feeling than I was able to express. It probably doesn't require the jumping and the shouting and the adolescent imagery. When I can find a better way to put it, I'll keep you in mind and pass it on.

But I shame myself into serenity sometimes, and tonight I'd rather sing out.

Hallelujah, Mr. Internet, for there are mountains to climb. Hallelujah, friend, for the rivers to cross and the skies to explore, the lives we live that never before were possible. I look out at the world tonight, and the road behind me and the options before me, and I scream out to my maker


and the voice of sad serenity can suck it. I am living a life of purpose, knowing not yet what it be, and I will pursue that life as a fantastical adventure, fearing no dragons and monsters before me.

But also, probably not. 'Cause I'm a coward and a child, and I insist on having it both ways. I'll enjoy my safe evening of heroic sensibility, but reserve the right to retreat in the light of day. I'm afraid of my heroism, afraid of charging blindly and foolishly, and I can see in that cowardice a certain measure of wisdom.

It takes a lot of self-knowledge to hear the honest call of destiny. And it takes an equal measure of discipline to keep listening past the opening remarks, instead of driving it away by celebrating its presence.

I bless you to have an easier time than I do balancing the peace of understanding and the chaos of action.

Myself, I've erred on the side of peace too much lately, so with all due hedging and equivocation, tonight I'm rocking out.


Yotam Schachter-Shalomi,
Awesome Hero